Our first video technical support question comes from SpaceHunk95@yahoo.cock who asks;

Click here to view the embedded video.

Basically, SpaceHunk95@yahoo.cock is asking,

“I’ve taken my PC to bits and spread it out over the table, turned it on and stuck a pen nib across two of the motherboard electro conductive tally whackers and all it does is make a continuous beeping noise. What should I do?”

Well SpaceHunk95@yahoo.cock, turn it off, put it all back together and stop f*@king about with it, surely you can find better things to do? Nice Spoktech 520 PSU though brother, I bet that packs a real punch!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Now, who’s a silly billy then?

So here’s my top 10,

1. “my icons disappeared off my desktop” – Shitter mate, see my article.
2. “all icons disappear off of desktop” – All icons, damn those slippy desktops, try lying your monitor on it’s back.
3. “all my icons disappeared off my desktop” – Yep, join the club my friend.
4. “desktop icons disappeared” – Just like that, they’ve gone!
5. “desktop icons have discovered” – This is a new one on me, I’d love to know what. Drop me a line and let me know.
6. “desktop icons-lost” – They’ve just gone-a-wondering around my PC and got theirselves lost.
7. “fallen desktop icons” – Like fallen angels, they’re hiding behind the trashcan jacking up on web 2.0 juice.
8. “find my icons lost on pc” – They’re lost buddy, there’s no finding them.
9. “program fallen off desktop” – Whooa there, not just the icon the bloody program??? Pisser!
10. “why is my desktop icons going on and off?” – Why is they indeed, those darn icons are going discotastic.

The basics explained

Ok so, first of all it’s not the music that has left your laptop (we always have a good chuckle when we hear that suggested) it is of course the band that plays the music. Most people don’t realise that sound cards are actually powered by very tiny bands and the quality of sound card performance is dependant on the quality of the band resident on the card. In future posts we’ll talk further about this but for now you just need to grasp the tiny band concept.

The day the music died

We’ve all been there, you boot up your laptop first thing of a morning eager to dive into a heavy day of social bookmarking and tag cloud surfing and the usual windows startup music doesn’t play. “That’s odd” you think, “maybe I just didn’t hear it over the hard drive grinding noise”, so you try playing one of your mp3s and still nothing.

So, What has happened?

Well it’s quite simple really, overnight the band have decided to leave. There are many reasons why this might happen and we’ll look at some potential reasons along with some potential fixes in later posts.

A temporary fix

There are two possible temporary fixes,

1. Buy a new laptop and threw the other out. The new laptop will come pre-configured with new soundcard and therefore a new resident band.
2. Have someone sit by your side using a different laptop with working sound and instruct them to mirror your actions thus creating the missing audio

“Recently we moved from Stoke-on-Trent to Birmingham because my husband who is a struggling street entertainer felt that the larger population of Birmingham should mean a tenfold increase in his weekly wage. Unfortunately that has not turned out to be the case and it appears that the people of Birmingham have not warmed to my husbands unique brand of street entertainment in which he combines the ancient Japanese art of paper folding (Origami), juggling and freestyle jazz dance. In his defense I would add that the weather conditions in Birmingham are not conducive to an optimum performance of this rare art form.

On the day of our move we carefully packed our much loved PC in a box and placed it in the back of our car. We were very careful and wrapped the PC and monitor in bubble wrap. Placing them in boxes we then packed soft cushions around the boxes to further aid their protection.

Imagine our dismay when we arrived in Birmingham and after unpacking and reconnecting our PC hardware we discovered the icons on our desktop had fallen off somewhere in transit. We’ve search the boxes we packed the PC in and even the back of the car but we can’t find them anywhere.

What should we do? Is there anywhere we can buy spare desktop icons to replace the ones we’ve lost?”

Well Sue, first of all let me assure you, you’re not alone. If I were to collect all the desktop icons lost in transport during an unspecified given period I’d have enough desktop icons to fill a receptacle of unspecified proportions and that’s no small amount let me tell you. Before moving the PC you should have either installed Shytechs Perma Desktop Icon Patch or have taken a screenshot of your desktop and set that as your desktop wallpaper. Unfortunately your only course of action now is to completely reformat your hard drive and reinstall all your software over again. During the installation of each piece of software you’ll be asked if you would like to place a shortcut icon on your desktop, answer yes to replace the desktop icons you lost during transit. I hope that helps Sue, be more careful next time. Anyone with any sense knows that moving a PC can cause this sort of shit to happen, you’re obviously a bit of an idiot.